did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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