also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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