Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
