hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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