i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
