Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
