I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize