Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
