Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
