I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
