why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
