hotel room ftw
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
