I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this will be a night to untag.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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