i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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