i think i have two assholes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
