I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
