i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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