you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
