Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize