They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
