Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
