yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
