I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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