Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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