it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
