But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
