I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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