No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
