I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
