You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
