Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
