It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
