I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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