Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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