Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
