I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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