just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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