I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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