so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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