dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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