I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
