hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
