Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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