I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
