hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
