Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to calm my uterus...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
