MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
