I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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