I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
