i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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