There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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