Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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