I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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