dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
