i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
