Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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