We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
