What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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