i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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