Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
