is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
